NEW CAR OWNER HAS RELIABILITY ISSUES

A London based individual, Mr PM Bumble, has reported experiencing considerable reliability issues with the car that he has been driving since December.

Mr Bumble complained, ‘I had only been in charge of driving since July last year but took procession of this new car in December confident that it had over eighty improvements on the old, clapped out model I had inherited’.

Mr Bumble on the road to ruin – By the author

However, Mr. Bumble quickly found that steering such a big vehicle was onerous, especially when the road conditions became difficult. ‘The road was much rougher than I imagined and kept turning back on itself and it all made me feel quite dizzy. I just couldn’t seem to keep to a regular route,’ he commented glumly. 

Even his friends have had issues with driving recently, with a Mr Dominic Goings making a new spectacle of himself by driving around sight-seeing during lockdown. Some of his other friends had started to realise that it may not be the car that was to blame, but Mr Bumble himself. A Mr Jeremy Bunt said, ‘I have always had a healthy disregard for someone who tries to drive without putting their hands properly on the wheel’. While his old school chum, Dave Cameundone, happily chirped, ‘He had always thought that being in charge of the driving would be easy and was consistently telling everyone to trust him, as he could do it better’.

‘I thought driving would be child’s play’ mumbled Mr Bumble. ‘I believed from a young age that it would just be jolly good fun. I didn’t imagine that I would have to get involved with proper maintenance or management and I certainly didn’t want to get my hands dirty! Then I found that the car was going down hill and the wheels were coming off. It all turned into a car crash’.

So, Mr Bumble started to look around for someone to blame.

But then he saw, “round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare. The lone and level sands stretch far away…”