For a bit of New Year fun, here are some suggested 2025 resolutions for a selection of public figures. Please do get in touch with your own ideas.
Elon Musk
- Sell Twitter to Mark Hamill for $1.
- Cancel SpaceX and donate its entire budget to Greenpeace.
- Stop talking. Seriously, just stop.
Mark Hamill
- Buy Twitter.
- Become president.
- Make Michelle Obama VP.
Donald Trump
- Book a bucket list cruise setting sail in January 2025 and returning January 2029.
- Read a book.
- Apologise.
Vladimir Putin
- Pull out of Ukraine.
- Release all political prisoners.
- Resign.
Keir Starmer
- Develop a hopeful vision of the future.
- Never use the phrase “difficult choices” again.
- Discover socialism.
Nigel Farage
- Stop pretending immigration is the problem and not Brexit.
- Stop embarrassing self and nation as Trump’s neglected lap dog.
- Visit Clacton.
Kemi Badenoch
- Get anger management therapy.
- Write some policies.
- Resign.
Rupert Murdoch
- Sell News Corp to Dale Vince for $1.
- Close down Fox.
- Donate entire fortune to the Hillsborough bereaved families.
The BBC
- Create impartiality rules that actually address disinformation and false equivalence.
- Stop platforming right wing clickbait.
- Stop platforming nebulously funded right wing think tanks masquerading as impartial analysts.
Aaron Sorkin
- Write a new series of The West Wing, starring Mark Hamill as The Pres.
Happy New Year from all of us at West England Bylines!
We want to hear your views. Please send any comments to editor@westenglandbylines.co.uk
