Dear Liz,
Since our earlier correspondence, (December 2021 and January 2022) it’s good to see that you have finally ditched the multiple hats and roles in favour of focussing on just one job. The big one. I guess I should start by offering my congratulations, but as you have been under-performing so spectacularly, that wouldn’t seem appropriate under the circumstances.
Given that you have only been in the job such a short amount of time, (is it really only a month? – it seems so much longer), I have held off from writing until now. Let’s wait until after the party conference, I told myself, and give her a chance to turn this thing around and show us what she’s got. Sadly, it seems, we had already seen the best you had to offer. Though frankly, you and I had far more in common before the dreaded (don’t worry, I won’t mention the ‘B’ word) referendum.
So, let me get to the reason for my missive. I am writing to complain. I appreciate this will not come as a surprise as I imagine the vast majority of your correspondence is made up of complaints of some description. In addition, in light of your recent party conference speech, the list of those with genuine reasons for complaint has increased exponentially.
It seems that the list of your supposed enemies has expanded considerably, and we all share a shiny new label. Not only is the previous insult de jour of “Remainer” no longer in vogue but now I’m a “Br*x*t denier” and a member of the “anti-growth coalition”! At least your name calling is not limited to us pro-Europeans. It now also applies to Labour, the unions, environmentalists, think tanks and talking heads.
I’m sure if you, or your script writers had taken just a bit of time, you could have swept up a lot more supposed enemies in that meaningless list. After all, considering the state of your party at the moment, surely you could have included a few disloyal backbenchers in your catalogue of reprobates.
Of course, there will always be a ready supply of useful idiots, like Nadhim Zahawi, to defend your nonsense, and I can live with that. After all, when you fall, you’ll be taking a lot of them with you. Even your former fellow candidate for the top job, Tom Tugendhat, has been waffling on about growth in your defence. Apparently, growth grows opportunities, lives and futures, and you are right to be focussing on delivering it for everyone. Well, everyone except the poor, the hungry, the disabled, the needy etc., etc. Well, speaking as a non-economist, non-expert, I can assure you that is complete “bollocks”, as we’ve been saying about —— (enter six letter word beginning with ‘Br*’ and ending with ‘x*t’ here).
To your credit, I don’t doubt for one minute that you believe all this rhetorical horse manure you are spouting, even in the face of ample evidence to the contrary. Certainly, the Bank of England doesn’t believe it, nor the financial markets. But I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt as you are still relatively new at this game. After all, it’s only a maximum of two years until the country decides on our next PM, rather than a few thousand elderly, white, wealthy right-wingers. Assuming, of course, that your party doesn’t decide before that to give another ERG supporter a go at running the country.
Another complaint, before I toddle off to count what’s left of my diminishing state pension. Could you please instruct your cabinet and ministers to stop pretending that this is a brand-new government. Anyone would think you were trying to suggest there has been a different party/government running things for the last 12 years. As the longest serving member of the Conservative government that is currently in power, and has been for over a decade, I’m sure you will agree. After all, there is so much (not!) to take credit for.
Finally, could we please stop with the three-word soundbites and slogans like the irritating “getting Britain moving” nonsense. Laxative commercials have had more convincing slogans. As for answering questions, let me be very clear (see what I did there?) – your stock answers are now so familiar that there’s really no point giving any more interviews. The whole country can predict how you will respond with considerably more accuracy than you can predict the economy or public opinion.
Despite your protestations that you are “listening” and you “get it”, I’m afraid I remain (no pun intended) sceptical. I don’t believe you have a “clear plan” (unless you mean one that you can see through), I don’t believe your party has the “determination to deliver” or that you can “unleash the full potential of our great country”.
If I’m being totally honest, I don’t think you do either. So, why not save us all two years more nonsense and go for the mandate from the country you already claim to have. Call an election. Put your money – rather than ours for a change – where your mouth is. If you don’t mind me finishing with one of your own quotes, “that is how we will build a new Britain for a new era”. You know it makes sense, and I’m sure, in the end, you’ll be only too glad to see the back of that wallpaper when you are “moving on up” and out!
Yours hopefully,
Sue Wilson MBE
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