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West England Bylines
Home Society Poetry

The rule of six

The rule of six is a recent, and an odd, rule the government have introduced in order to combat COVID-19 spreading amongst the populous

Adrian Mealing by Adrian Mealing
22 October 2020
in Poetry
Reading Time: 2 mins read
A A
Two people sit in the middle of a park an acceptable distance apart.

Social Distancing in a park - Source: Acabashi on Wkikmedia on CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

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The Rule of Six, the Gang of Four
Three Musketeers banging on your door
Pilates Seven, The Yoga Ten?
That’s illegal, begone those men
the question dodgers, the clichéd speakers
butter wouldn’t melt, the havoc wreakers
I wouldn’t lend you my oldest sneakers
let alone share my chicken tikkas

ditch the ones who lie and feud
throw out the boys with attitude
Boris, Michael, Matt and Dom
oh and Priti Patel is like a night on the Somme
oh and Priti Patel is like a night on the Somme
I’d rather drink tea with a V2 bomb
begone, begone, begone

The Rule of Six, the Gang of Four
The Gong Bath Nine, that’s against the law
The Book Club twelve, do us a favour
Hilary Mantel was once our neighbour
Hilary Mantel was once our neighbour
is it really worth voting for Labour?
just nipping out for a crafty vapour

throw out the boys with attitude
Dominic, Gavin, Alok, Brandon
Ministers of Smart Arse, ships abandon
Laura Kuenssberg, don’t lay a hand on
Laura Kuenssberg, don’t lay a hand on
come the election, what will they stand on?
begone, begone, begone

The Rule of Six? Last week’s news
we’d rather rap about it than sing the blues
work from home and scrub your hands
keep yer distance in the shifting sands
vote out the boys who know it all
never make mistakes or confess bad calls
honestly, really, do we look like fools?
Begone, begone, begone

© Adrian Mealing, The Very Grimm Brothers     

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